ADHD and Perceived Burdensomeness: How Women in Toronto Cope

If you’ve ever sat in a North York therapy room and found yourself hesitating before sharing your struggles, you’re not alone. Many women with ADHD carry an old story: that their needs are “too much,” or that leaning on others might somehow be a burden. It’s a quiet, heavy weight–one you don’t deserve to carry.

Feeling Like “Too Much”

Women with ADHD in Toronto often describe an ache: the guilt of asking for help, or feeling they need to downplay how hard things really are. The world often rewards stoicism and “holding it all together,” but for many, this results in silent suffering and fatigue from keeping up the mask.

Understanding Perceived Burdensomeness

Perceived burdensomeness—a term from psychology—describes the belief that your presence or your needs place a weight on others. For ADHD women, especially those used to over-functioning, this belief takes root early and can feel impossible to shake.

Permission to Need Support

Therapy work in North York focuses on rewriting these inner stories. Instead of asking, “Am I too much?” we start to gently wonder: “What if my needs are just human?” By naming these patterns and practicing small acts of self-compassion, it gets safer to occupy space, ask for support, and breathe a little easier.

Small Reframes That Help

• Noticing when you apologize for expressing emotion or needing rest, and replacing it with a pause.
• Tracking the triggers that activate your “burden” story.
• Experimenting with voicing a need, even if you feel awkward.

You’re Not Alone

If you resonate, know this: there’s nothing wrong with having needs, and asking for support does not make you a liability. For many clients, teaming up with a trusted therapist or ADHD-aware clinician is a game changer. Learn more about ADHD therapy in North York or visit CAMH’s ADHD resource for further reading.

Dynamic Health Clinic offers a space where your needs can be spoken, not minimized. You deserve support.