Feeling like a burden at work: if you have ADHD (especially if you’re a woman in a high-performing Toronto office), you know this isn’t just a passing feeling. It’s a heavy, tight-knotted companion in the quietest moments after meetings or emails. Let’s sit with it together, gently, and begin to name it for what it really is—a story your brain learned, not a fact about who you are.
Why ADHD Rejection Sensitivity Feels Like ‘Being Too Much’
For adults with ADHD, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is real. It shows up as a pounding heartbeat after even the smallest critique or when you sense you’ve spoken up “too often.” You may have been told before (directly or indirectly) that your needs or your ways of working are difficult. The truth? None of this makes you a liability. These are trauma imprints and social messages, not flaws.
How ‘Perceived Burdensomeness’ Gets Embedded in Workplace Dynamics
When you start believing your needs are a weight others must carry, it leads to chronic self-editing, guilt, and exhaustion. This internalized story fuels over-functioning—working twice as hard to “make up for” ADHD traits, apologizing for needing reminders, or dreading feedback. The emotional cost is real, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing—it’s a sign you’re surviving with a brain wired differently.
Cognitive Reframes That Actually Help
- Name it: Instead of, “I’m too much,” try, “My needs are valid and worthy of support.”
- Notice patterns: Who are the people or situations where you feel safest to ask for help? What’s different?
- Gentle exposure: Practice asking for one small support at work. Notice your body’s reactions—and breathe.
Support Is Not Weakness
ADHD therapy and coaching can help you untangle these old scripts. Our team in Toronto offers trauma-informed, specialized support that honors your complexity. (Learn more about ADHD Support Services.) And for deeper reading on RSD, see CAMH’s ADHD resource.
You’re not a burden—you’re a person with needs, like everyone else. Permission to take up space, here and now.
