Perceived Burdensomeness: What It Is and How Toronto Therapists Help

Have you ever felt that expressing your needs or asking for help means you’re being a burden? For so many women—especially those with ADHD—this story runs deep and silent. You try to hold back, minimize, or manage everything on your own, all the while feeling quietly heavy with guilt. Here’s the truth: your needs are real, and they don’t make you “too much.”

Why Do We Feel Like a Burden?

Perceived burdensomeness is something Toronto therapists see often. It’s a core feeling that your struggles inconvenience others. For women with ADHD, masking symptoms, over-apologizing, and rejection sensitivity make this story even louder. The roots can stem from growing up being told to “settle down,” “be less,” or “don’t make trouble.”

The Masking Trap

Masking—hiding ADHD traits—takes effort. Add to this the mental load of self-editing so nobody is “put out,” and it’s no wonder burnout follows. If you spend time second-guessing every need or message, you’re not alone. So many of our clients at Dynamic Health Clinic share this quiet exhaustion.

Cognitive Reframes: Permission to Need

Therapy offers compassionate strategies to challenge these beliefs. Try this: notice when you hear “I’m a burden.” Pause and ask: what if I am simply human, needing help like everyone else? Small, gentle reframes—over time—create space for your needs to matter.

Seeking Support Isn’t Weakness

From coordinated care to ADHD-friendly counselling, Toronto has more support than ever. Read about the burden myth at CAMH for more perspective. Remember, you deserve care without apology.

You’re Not Alone in This

Your needs are part of what makes you human. They are not a liability. Step by step, with the right support, this belief can become your new truth.