Intro:

If you've found yourself double- and triple-checking how you show up—even in therapy—you're not alone. For so many high-achieving women in Toronto with ADHD, the fear of being “too much” runs deep. It can shape how you present in sessions: apologizing for your emotions, feeling like you have to over-explain, and wondering if simply having needs makes you a burden. But your needs aren’t “extra.” In fact, learning to honor them might be the most caring thing you ever do—especially for your future self.

Understanding the 'Too Much' Narrative

The belief that having needs is “too much” often has roots in childhood, social expectations, or even past therapy experiences. You might have heard messages like “don’t make waves” or “hold it together,” internalizing a story that your emotions are inconvenient. In ADHD brains, rejection sensitivity can make these worries feel even bigger, fueling cycles of over-functioning.

Masking and Over-Functioning in Therapy

Masking—the act of concealing parts of yourself to fit in—often goes hand-in-hand with over-functioning. You might find yourself minimizing struggles in front of your therapist, or apologizing for sharing at all. This is common, especially for women used to being the “responsible one.”

Challenging Perceived Burdensomeness

“Perceived burdensomeness” is a real psychological phenomenon where people believe their problems or needs burden others. Recognizing this in therapy is powerful. Naming it together allows you to experiment with taking up a little more space, and to see—safely—that your therapist can hold it with you.

ADHD, Support, and Permission

If you live in Toronto and are looking for ADHD support, know that coordinated care at a clinic is about normalizing needs, not pathologizing them. Services like individual therapy, ADHD coaching, or even integrative treatments (such as IV therapy in Toronto) are designed to help you honor your limits and strengths.

Next Steps

Every step you take to voice your needs is a practice in giving yourself permission. If you’d like more information about ADHD and wellness, the CAMH ADHD resource is a great external resource.

At Dynamic Health Clinic in North York, our hope is for you to know: your needs have value. Taking up space is brave—and welcome here.